I have received many questions about my religion and I have to say it’s not easy to give you an answer, as to be true I don’t think I have a religion.
I believe in God would be more accurate. An in the Power of Love. I posted on this a couple of months ago – You can find my post HERE.
In 2009 I went through a very difficult phase in my life. After coming back from a week in Morocco, I was completely lost, not finding my place in Dublin, not finding the peace I had found in Morocco, aware there was a gap between the two cultures, a gap I was unable to fill.
In March 2009 I met the one who is now my husband. But at the time, conflicts were on with family, I couldn’t find my place in our relationship, I was living in total darkness, not knowing what to say, where to go, what to do. My head was full of fears and doubts. I was moving, making new step with much efforts, feeling like a ghost in my own skin, not belonging to any place. I wanted to fall for somebody to look at me, to see my pain, to guess I couldn’t do it anymore, not like this. But I knew even if I fell down, nobody would see it. I would still have to fight alone.
And on a particular day of August, I remember myself in my new apartment, in tears, sit down on the cold floor looking at the emptiness in front of me, thinking “If every struggle could stop today”, my eyes looking at the balcony and the grass beneath it. It could go smooth. I could escape the world in one second. I could stop the nightmare just by jumping in the air.
It was tempting.
At the second I was about to give up, I felt something around me, like a warm presence. I was not alone. So, no I didn’t hear a voice or see a face, but deep down I felt I was not alone. And then God said to me wherever you are, whatever struggle you face, I am with you, I have your hand in mine and I will not let go.
Now you want to jump, it’s fine, go. It’s your choice, it’s your life.
But if you decide not too, remember I will not let go of your hand. I will always be with you, no matter what.
I trusted him. I knew he was right. I started to pray and I have to say I faced others challenges since then, I will face other ones in my life but I know God is always there and through prayers I can meet him, find peace in his unconditional love, let go of my pains and weaknesses, stand up and start again.
God told me this.
You can raise again from the bottom of the hole. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust in his Love and you will see it.