Trusting God and his Signs – A friend Testimony

Yesterday, I received a great email, straight from America. A friend testimony that really touched me, reached me deep inside. All was suddenly very clear.

Trusting God and never drifting away from his plans because he knows better what is good for us.

Now I have to be honest with myself (and you as well, because your words and your support saved me).

The first day I met my future ex-husband, something said to me seeing him again would be a real mistake. My first emotion: fear. God sent me signs. But I decided not to listen or see them. And only a couple of days into the relationship made me weak already. I was afraid of listening to God. And I was afraid of leaving the man I loved. I could not understand why God put him on my road just to tell me to let him go.

This was not love, it was possession. I was his chance for papers. I was his chance for freedom. That is surely why after 3 months, he asked me to marry him. And when I said no, the harassment for marriage at all prices began.

So many times I wanted to escape; I wanted to invent a lie so he would decide I was not worth it. I fought against my family and against God’s will, asking God to make me happy at the same time. And then I married him. I got accustomed to my daily life. I read every paper I could to be a good wife. I really tried but food was never good enough, I was never well dressed enough, he kept saying I was too naive and why was I always so tired?

A compliment, yes, a couple of times. But not enough. How much I wanted to be sick when I was with him, so somebody would look after me, just for one day. I know it’s crazy. But it’s how I felt for 4 years.

Then on the 23 of Nov 2012, I was once again trying to express my view, which he considered was not worth listening to. Anyway in the course of one week he kept repeating me he would leave me. At 7pm this night, I said to myself I have to leave him and this relationship if I don’t want to die (in my head, in my spirit and in my heart).

Next day, God offered me this chance. He told me “don’t go home tonight” and I did not, pushed by an intuition, the first one I acknowledge fully and followed. The nightmare was not over yet but I was free. And God was there to make it as easy as possible for me.

God gave me two chances before this time. One in August 2009 and one in October 2010. I did not trust him enough these two times and I was not strong enough to follow him. I gave my future ex-husband the chance to change. Obviously it did not happen. Each time he turned my head upside down and I felt I was the cause of his behavior and my own troubles. If I was a better wife, I would make him happy and he would stop going out all the time, meeting his friends every single night, being silent and saying I am a child and I need him too much.

In November, God sent me double blessings, saving 2 lives in 1 go, mine and Mister Pop’s one.

Reading my friend’s story yesterday was life changing. God does send us hardships. God does send people, jobs, situations our way. They are not always the right for us. He does this, just to test our faith, our love for him. We always have the chance and even when we take the most miserable road for us, he is there, holding our hands, healing our hearts. But his plan remains clear, getting us out of our tragedies and back into the light.

Now that I broke free, I learn to trust Him only. It’s not always the easiest to do but nothing comes from nothing. We have to strive.

My future ex-husband is coming back with promises, ILoveYou words. I don’t listen to them. Before I knew it, it will be harsh words and threats of killing himself. And anyway I am out of love; I know he is noxious for me and Mister Pop. I don’t want him in my life anymore. Yes I know he is Mister Pop’s dad but it comes to him to be part of his life or not.

I AM FREE.

ALLAH BLESSED ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL BABY AND AMAZING FRIENDS.

GOD IS MY SAVIOUR AND THE KNOWER OF ALL THINGS.

WITH HIM I AM SAFE.

BY FOLLOWING HIS WILL, I AM SAFE.

 I want to thank you all (I know I do it a lot, but I think it’s good to say thank you!), with a special mention to Bonnie, Catherine, Salma, Zarina, Liv, Hadir and Amie.

Your friendship means the world to me. Your support and prayers never faded over the past year. Some people say they can only count their friends on the fingers of one hand. I must have special favors from above, cause my two hands are not enough to count my true friends.

“And He it is who spread the earth and made in it firm mountains and rivers, and of all fruits He has made in it two kinds; He makes the night cover the day; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” The Holy Qur’an

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” The Bible – Proverbs 3:5-6

 

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8 thoughts on “Trusting God and his Signs – A friend Testimony

  1. ✿ Coucou chère Marie !!! 🙂
    Tu es libre, avec ton enfant et Dieu veille sur vous deux.
    Continuez comme ça !!!
    Bonne fin de semaine à vous deux ! BISOUS BISOUS BISOUS ✿

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  2. Sometimes we do get stubborn, Marie. We all want to have it our way. We think we know better what is best for us. But so true, even if we falter, God never leaves our side and He never stops loving us. And He is very much willing to take us back into His arms when we decide to go back to Him and surrender to His will. It may not have been an easy journey for you, Marie, but I am so happy that you finally found that freedom by following God’s guidance. And you truly deserve that freedom and peace. I wish you all the happiness in this new chapter in your life, my friend. Much love and God bless. ♡

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    • Thank you so much Irene. We have so many things to learn every day, but before all we should always remember God is trying his best to show us the right road for us.
      When in doubt, we should pray!
      Take care and thanks for your nice words.

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  3. I love you so much sis, I wish we never had to have these conversations, but I am also happy that you have a supportive network. I never kept a blog or a diary when my world fell apart all those years ago…I am now just sharing the reality with my daughters because I don’t want them to end up in the same path.

    Every time I read your words I think about Mr Pops and how you really did save 2 lives instead of one, because that kind of life is not for humans (especially) children

    Stay blessed!

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    • I understand Salma. As mums, we need to make sure our kids don’t take the same road, we need to share our stories, even if they are tough to explain.
      Thanks for your kind words. Stay well dear. xx

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  4. My mother tells me, over and over, Allah tests us. And I think, it is to help us grow stronger. I find it wonderful that, despite your hard times, you’ve emerged strong, not beaten down or bitter. I hope you and your baby have a life filled with love and happiness.

    A book that speaks about listening to our instinct: Women who run with the wolves. It’s written by a psychotherapist, and she uses stories to help women learn about ourselves.

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    • Thank you very much for stopping by and for your warm & nice comment. God tests us and when in doubt, we should always listen to him and don’t doubt his will.
      Take care.

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