And it feels good

I wish I had not talked

I wish I had not started a discussion

I wish I had not said words that hurt him

I wish I had only said “it’s over”

But he did not want to hear my story

But he did not want to listen to me

But he did not want to acknowledge his errors

But he only wanted for me to come back

I wish I had talked about Mister Pop only

I wish I had tried harder to keep cool

I wish I had felt no fear

I wish I had not arrived so early

But he did not give me a chance to explain myself

But he did not want to hear “love is gone”

But he did not ask about Mister Pop

But he kept thinking I would step back

This morning we met again, after 1 year, day for day, of separation.

This morning we met again and till the last minute, he thought I would say ok for another try

This morning we met again and he did not allow me to have my own ideas about things

This morning we met again and he ruined his chance to see Mister Pop, before he left

Once upon a time I felt in love with him

Once upon a time I thought our love would win every one of our hardships

Once upon a time I believed in him, in me, in us

Once upon a time I trusted his feelings

Today, he is a stranger to me

Today, I can’t talk to him

Today, I don’t understand his plans, his actions

Today, I feel like he is not controlling me anymore

And it feels good.

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10 thoughts on “And it feels good

  1. Don’t feel surry Marie, don’t have any regrets you’re free now! In your head in your heart! You Know now définitively that the problem is him not you! He tried to manipulate once again and he failed.
    That’s great news… Lors of kisses

    Like

    • That’s good news, you’re right Catherine.
      But it’s just too sad. I know people don’t change but I thought for his child, he would put his pride away. Maybe it’s for the best, after all!
      xoxo

      Like

    • I feel sorry too Salma. I feel sorry for people who don’t see happiness where it is and spend their lives lying to the ones who love them the most. I feel sorry for him not to understand I was ready to let the door open for him, as a father. He closes it himself and accuse me of the worst.

      Like

    • He knows how to make me feel guilty and he is playing with it. But now I am good at saying “no” and not letting him playing with my life and feelings. It’s a start!!
      xoxo

      Like

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