Feeling limited

These days I feel like I complain way too much. It’s not good but I don’t seem to be able to stop it. I have many good things in my life. I am grateful for every one of them.

I just have an issue. One issue I can’t get my head around.

My mum.

She is not the issue. She does what she can for me and Mister Pop.

But living with her is quite hard for me.

It’s now 14 months I am back in France, 14 months I live with family.

I know my family was of great help when I came back, completely lost and broken. My family helped me to recover and start again.

Obvisouly they are positive points of having my mum around.

She looks well after Mister Pop & Mister Pop is happy with her.

She is making my life easier, so when I am home, I can concentrate on Mister Pop and Mister Pop only.

She cooks and clean and wash and iron.

But there are also negative points (I just have to accept them)

She is pessimistic.

She only sees the bad and the negative in every single thing.

I don’t have free moments or moments alone or alone with Mister Pop.

She turns every little issue into a huge issue and worries a lot, much more than I do.

She does not let me do things on my own. She does them for me instead (like I am not big enough!!)

I know she wish to stay with us for a long time, not months, but years. She is doing her best. But this idea stresses me.

I should say something to her but I can’t. Because she thinks her idea to be with us is the best idea for us. I don’t want to enter a war zone. I dealt with enough wars for the time being.

So I complain. And I ask God to give me the patience to support this situation, and only see the positive and the love shared.

True. Easier said thand done.

I am just tired of accepting it…

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8 thoughts on “Feeling limited

  1. She loves you to bits and is showing you in the only way she knows how. I felt this way about my mum too when she was alive and now she is no longer around, I really miss her. No one will ever love me like she did.

    I think she is just worried about you, which is natural. The older generation is like that, we just have to accept them as they are. I know it’s difficult to have a conversation with them too because we are not on the same wave length!

    She means well and only wants the best for her daughter and grandson. Think of all her good points and understand where she is coming from with all her pessimisity. Look at her with the eyes of love. Once in a while, tell her “I love you, mum.” What does she like doing … perhaps you can do it together, perhaps she too crave to spend some time with you. It would be good to be able to sit down one day and have a peaceful conversation together when you can subtly and calmly ask her what she is worried about.

    These are just my thoughts, Marie. I pray that you will feel at peace and harmony once again, Marie.

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    • You are so right Asni. That’s why I need to concentrate on the good. The thing is that we only do things together. Sometime I wish to be on my own.
      She worries about everything, from work to life, from divorce to the flu. But I won’t change her. iI just have to adjust to this new life.
      Much love to you from both of us.

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  2. I wouldn’t even know where to start with this one Marie. The people who are there when we need them most should be treasured, nut it doesn’t mean that it is easy. She loves Mr. Pops and takes good care of him, she helps with housework, and she drives you batty by her pessimism. I would say those are the 3 major points.

    I would say look at the now, not a year from now. Perhaps thinking about her being with you for a long time scares you so much that it also gets in the way of you dealing with the stress of the “now”.

    I think it’s good that you are able to let it out…to say how you feel. Maybe try to see how you could confront some of these issues with her by having a talk.

    Good luck sis.

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  3. Just hang in there, Marie. Pray for better things to come between you and your mom. This is just my opinion, some moms are over protective. It’s because they love us so much. But by right we can grow up by ourselves. Then again from time to time we can refer to them on issues which we ourselves can’t settle. Living together with one’s mom is such a sweet thing but I do understand the dilemma you go through. Please, have some nice talks with her.

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    • I will follow your advice. She just want to protect me, that’s true. And she can’t get around the idea that she can’t protect me from everything.
      Thank you very much for your words. Stay well and in peace.

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