We grew up together but were never close.
Nothing would bring us together.
We had to love each other. Family rule.
My sister kept saying “I wish I had another sister, a sister not like you.”
I kept saying “it does not matter, I will keep protecting you.”
I left home. I left her behind in the turmoil of life.
I followed my path. She followed her.
Our only ties were blood ties.
I left for Ireland.
She left for Ireland.
Things changed. We learnt to know each other. We discovered each other battles and joys. We acknowledged our fears and doubts. We laughed. A LOT.
We enjoyed much time together.
We shared everything, every secret, every love, every pain, every loss.
We were not alone anymore. We were sisters, after many years of growing up apart.
We lived fully our sisterhood. We shined into this special relationship.
But something came and wiped it away. Something broke us, moved us apart, made us strangers.
I fell in love. I married.
She saw him. She knew something was wrong.
She hated his arrogance. She hated his violence. She hated the way he treated people.
I had always an excuse for him. He was shy. He was tired. He worked too hard. He worried for his family.
She tried to tell me things. She tried to push me away from him. She tried with harsh words. And then she left.
I stayed alone. I broke with my family. I broke with her.
No more shared secrets. No more chats. No more laugh.
The day I left my abusive relationship, she was there and her eyes were saying “I told you”. She couldn’t look at me. She couldn’t handle my pain. She escaped every time she could. Or she felt in tears.
At this time I was a ghost in my own body. I could not make one step without feeling my legs evading me. I looked at my eyes in the mirrors and I got scared. I had a hard time being around her and seeing her happy, in love.
Our hearts were pulling us towards each other. But we were not ready to start again. It took us 14 months.
Then something like a miracle happened. We laughed again. We talked about our lives, our memories. We laughed around a pizza and ice-cream. We were able to share things that make us sad, things that pull us forward. We were able to talk about what happened to us, about the one I allowed into my life and who reduced it in pieces. I was able to talk about him without anger. She was able to listen without judging him, without judging me for my choice.
God gave us this chance to be together again. Not everybody has it. And my prayer goes to all men and women deprived of their brothers and sisters, all people in mourning, all broken hearts, and all amputated lives.
Credit Image – Pinterest