No compulsion in religion

I needed time to make up my mind

Should I write about it or not

How can I write about it, without talking about the people involved?

I have learnt to back off, to think about things, to pray, before letting the words flow out of my mind, into the paper or on the screen

I used to write things down quickly, to think about the interest of my words, only after having them under my eyes (and having let yours read them)

Should I write about it or not

Can it be of any inspiration to others?

I don’t know.

I just decided that maybe these don’t have to be inspiring words

I just decided that maybe you can help me, maybe you can share advice


It’s about religion.

Not about me and my search

It’s about Mister Pop

It’s about Mister Pop’s dad. About HIS religion. About rules and about things you must do. And things you are not allowed to do, to eat, to think about.

It’s about what we want for Mister Pop

I wish him to grow up knowing about religion in general

I wish him to learn about Islam, Christianity and Judaism. About Buddhism and other spiritual paths of life.

I wish him to learn about Christmas, Ramadan, Yom Kippur.

I wish him to be able to make up his mind, to choose what’s best for him, to think by himself, not follow a path that might not be the right for him.

But his dad has another point of view.

Mister Pop must change his name

Mister Pop must have an Arabic Name

Mister Pop must eat Halal food

Mister Pop must do this or that

I MUST do this, respect his choice, respect his religion, respect his culture


Some might think it’s not a big issue

Some might think that I should just let things be the way he wants them to be


It’s an issue for me

It’s an issue because I feel oppressed by his view

I feel oppressed by his behavior

I feel oppressed by the way he is treating us

I feel oppressed by his way of saying “you must”


I am dealing with this, talking

Trying to discuss things peacefully

But nothing will change

And I won’t give in

I gave in too many times already


We are playing a hard battle

And I am sad to see that religion is being part of this battle

It’s even at the center of it


But when I feel completely overwhelmed

I remember that God’s love and mercy are infinite.


 Credit image – Pinterest


19 thoughts on “No compulsion in religion

  1. Prophet Muhammed was a Muslim Marie. A muslim is someone Who follows Islam. Islam meaning some who submits wholly to Allah and His way of life so Muhammed pace and blessing be upon him was an excellent muslim just to clarify. I have to defend my prophet’s when something about them is said wrong, it is apart of my faith.


  2. —-Marie,
    you must say what is in your heart. This is your space to do this. To release. To let go. You cannot be afraid to hurt somebody’s feelings, dear. This is the reason you have this blog. This is your liberation, your freedom, your time.

    If you feel oppressed, you are. God gives us that 6th sense. As my African Pen Pal articulates, “Oppression is like a murderer.”

    One of the reasons you left is because you were held back, demeaned, unworthy.

    You. Do. NOT. Need. To. Feel. This. ANYMORE.

    God Love you.

    And so do I.




    • Inner chick I totally agree with you. Everyone has the right to write what they think and feel on their own blog. Respecting each other is a must but as people wont always agree on everything and that is okay. Our individual feelings is what makes us who we are and no oppression was my intention with my earlier comment


      • Sanaa, I think that Kim was just referring to “oppression” as part of what I said on my post about Mister Pop’s dad attitude. And that she was outlining freedom of speech in relation to this as well, as I was not sure whether I should write about it here or not.
        Just wanted to clarify things a bit. Thanks


    • Thank you for your words Kim. It feels strange to still wonder whether I could say this or that. I don not need to feel this anymore, you are so right. I need to integrate this fully, wholly.
      Thanks for your words and your love too. They are precious.


  3. IF he wanted his son to be raised a Muslim he would have shown the mother of his son the beauty of Islam.
    IF he wanted a Muslim home for his son he would have created a peaceful loving atmosphere for his son’s mother.
    IF he wanted his son to have a Muslim name, eat halal, speak Arabic, he would have been open-minded and accommodating “when it mattered”
    IF he wanted peace in his son’s life, he would not have created war against those who love his son more than anything.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mashaallah, that is so true what Salma wrote.
      salam aleikoum and peace with you. dear Marie, I wish you strenght, hope and belief in Gods wisdom.
      may you be blessed, and your son and husband as well, protected from the whisperers of shaitaan, together in peace, love, mutual understanding and tolerance.


      • Thank you for stopping by Itto, it’s so kind of you.
        I keep praying, but I don’t think my husband (soon ex-husband) will change his mind. We never lived in peace, we never shared a peaceful dialogue. I just have to get on with it and pray for the best.


    • 100% right Salma. You hit the nail on the head. Marie thanks for learing that up for me as I wasn’t sure. Marie you situation is something so complex I refrain from commenting on a blog. I could not imagine the torn feelings you have to face day in day out and you and your gem are in my thoughts and prayers.


    • Thank you so much for your comment Salma. You know that I wished for this home when I got engaged, when I decided to marry him, when we decided to have kids together.
      I wished for a space of mutual understanding and that my child could follow his dad’s religion peacefully.
      But this was a mere dream.
      He is using his religion and his culture to oppress people and to get what he wants. It’s as simple as that.


  4. Hi Marie,

    I am SO glad you have written all that you are feeling. Everybody has the right to express his or her thoughts and oppression can never lead us anywhere. Please don’t get cowed down by what others want. Respect and love is always mutual. When ‘you must’ stands in between relationships, we have to tread carefully. For some, religion is greater than self and love. In that case, frictions are bound to happen. Societal and religious pressures squeeze the true feelings out of a person. You have a very difficult path before you and all depends on how you handle it and in which society do you live. Wishing you well.


    • Thank you so much Balroop for stopping by and sharing your views. It’s important for me.
      It’s a tough path but I think I should not forget my beliefs on the way, I should not do things to please one person and forget me in the process. I did it before and I have to live with all this mess now.
      Take care dear.


    • Societal and religious pressures squeeze the true feelings out of a person. Soo true Balroop. And to me these pressures om for the people and society not the religion.


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