If you mum would have come to you saying
“your dad better not find you there reading a book, when he comes home”
Would you have just said “ok”?
Would you have just asked “why? what’s wrong with reading a book”?
Would you have said “I don’t agree with this. What’s his problem? I can’t do what I want in my own home”?
Would you have said “no more of this bullshit. A man will never ever say to me what I should or should not do”?
Or would you have said “this is not my battle”?
If you mum had started crying and talking once again about her life, abused childhood, about her messed up married life, about how she is trying everything but no one sees it
Would you have taken her in your arms and say you’re sorry for creating such a mess around a single book?
Would you have told her “maybe you should leave dad”?
Would you have said “please stop with your childhood memories. I am fed up. I can’t take this anymore. We’ve been living with all this craziness since we’re kids. I can’t hear about it anymore”?
Would you have just stayed there and listen. And think “when all this will stop”?
What would you have done?
Would you have felt helpless?
Would you have asked yourself “how to set boundaries with all this mess coming around again and again and again”?
Do you know how to set boundaries, how to deal with this, without hurting yourself?
We are the change
But how to change? Where to start?