Angel Vibes

She comes from above. I can see her. She has a name. She is smiling, telling me I am safe. She didn’t lose any battle. She survived them all.

I can feel her, close to me. She is caressing my face, drained by tears. She’s talking to me, with gentle words “don’t worry, I am there, you’re not alone.”

She is calling me by my name. She is showing me the way – out of this place of despair. She is telling me not to go home tonight, to call a friend, to let go.

She is so far away and so alive in this moment.  She is like a friend by my side, supporting my pain, shooting inside my veins the energy I need to face fear without being afraid. As I stay under the rain, soaked from head to toe, feeling like a shadow, I feel the warmth of her smile, the raw kindness of her soul enveloping me, southing my shaking body.

She is an angel. She is a like the rising sun. She is empowering me.

I left.

Him. And all the messy memories.

I saved my life.

She prepared the way and put loving marks on the road so I won’t feel lost.

She left and came back.

Every time I cried in the starless nights. Every time I felt I could not make another step. Every minute I would rather die than face the emptiness, the heaviness of my belly, full of life.

She never let go of my hand.

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I told you she is an angel. The one with her name on her grave. She did not die. She is rising above the clouds, above the storm, above the hurricane that shatter so many lives.

She showed me her beautiful heart, her unique value. She transformed pain into thousands of yellow lights. She painted my sky in blue. She told me “I love you”. And I believed her.

She took me out of darkness, out of the fucking nightmare I was living in. One night, I called and she cut the chains, she opened the doors so I could escape my prison. She set me free.

When I pray, I spell out loud her name. Beautiful K.A.Y

I am sending you love across oceans and seas, across continents till the endless heaven where you are saving lives every single day.

And Kim, Thank You for Your Love & Light

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19 thoughts on “Angel Vibes

  1. I did not know this was about Kay as I was reading it
    and I copied and pasted these words: **She didn’t lose any battle. She survived them all.**
    OH, my heart. My Heart. My soul.
    Thank you so much for this, my darling Marie.
    I thank GOD for you, your survival, your amazingness, your words.
    Love you from Afar.
    Kim xxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kim, I remember the first time I read you. I couldn’t stop. It opened a window in my life, at this time I thought I was happy, safe and loved. It was a lie.
      Kay is there with us, everywhere and every one of your beautiful words, each breath of your love for her is powerful and inspiring.
      Keep writing Kim, Keep sharing her story, keep telling the truth about abuse. You are making an amazing difference in this world.
      xoxo my friend.

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  2. This is so beautiful! You’re so right. She is an Angel. I still remember when I first read Kim’s blog and Kay’s story, I was still there, enduring the abuse. I used to argue with anyone telling me he might kill you. I used to say, No, He won’t. He loves me. He is just threatening. He would never do it. He beats me just because he is angry and would never want to hurt me. Reading Kay’s story opened my eyes. I’m so glad you are living free now ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • It takes a lot of time Nikky to face the truth and the lies we keep telling ourselves. But you made it, you crossed the bridge, you take the bravest step. You are free and I am glad for you and your children.
      Kay is amazing. Kim is amazing. YOU ARE AMAZING!
      Sending you LOVE from Paris.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. MARIE! Oh precious friend, this was profound, painful, and entirely inspiring… Does this describe you at one time, or was this your brilliant creativity to reflect the POWER of Kay’s legacy? My heart aches if you experienced pain like this- and yet, your strength prevailed, my dear. You have overcome.

    God bless that beautiful heart of yours, Marie. I pray you feel healed and whole.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It does Chris. At some stage, years ago now I was this little fragile person, lost and terrified. This night when I decided not to go home, I felt something inside, like a rush of love, telling me “leave”. It took me years to find my way back to me. It’s worth it.
      I remember the day I met again with my ex-husband, I felt like an army of angels was with me to support me so I could face him, strong and safe.

      Thank you for your SINCERE and SWEET words my friend. You too are Fabulous!
      Take care.

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  4. I am so happy for you Marie…you have taken care of your mental health, which is more important than anything in this world. Kim is indeed awesome, she inspires every distressed person with her stories. I am glad you have learnt so much from the life of friends…that is what we are here for. Love and hugs dear friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Balroop, thank you so much. I think that sharing experiences is a great help on the road. The words shared are like Yellow Lights, supporting us and showing us the way into darkness.
      Kim is a wonderful person. I imagine she was sent to me when I needed her the most in my life.
      Sending you love and peace my sweet friend.

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