Posted in Words Every Day

The wedding ring

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The flickering sound of a bird nearby told me to stop listening to old thoughts. It was time, to let go, time to erase the shot:  me and you buying the wedding ring.

Saturday afternoon, crowded place, tangled hair, no makeup, friends all around – your friends, spring is on the way. We are in May.

We haven’t talked to each other for 3 days now. I cry. You call me stupid. You threaten to leave, this place, me. We are engaged. The wedding is planned for July. A tear, just one, a need, simple one, a word, not the good one, could ignite a terrible rage within you. I know. I will smile. It’s better for me. You like it. You like when I shut up and smile. You think I want to please you. You love when I play the good wife. Shut up and listen to your man. you know best. I just want peace. I stand firm against the need to shout and tell the world how messy my life is with you, how crazy you are. Your smile is fake. Mine is a self-denial one.

I open my jewelry box, take out the ring. I am ready to let it go. I sold it for 20€. I don’t want it anymore. It’s the last thing that links us together as husband & wife. We are back being two strangers that will never meet again. The image – me and you buying the wedding ring – is fading away. It’s blurry. I can now say something like this, out loud: you are an asshole, a crazy bastard!

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15 thoughts on “The wedding ring

  1. Spit it up over and over again!
    You’ve done the right thing to let go that ring; only bad memories.
    You did not deserve all that pain, sadness. But I can understand you; I’ve done the same until one day when I decided to move on….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes Foz! I did not know what to do with it really. Till I realised it was only holding bad and sad memories, not the ones I wanted to keep. It was great letting it go.
      Take care, hope you are feeling better and your dad too. xoxo

      Like

  2. Wow. I have goosebumps. This is so terrifying, Marie. And to think what should be a beautiful memory (buying a wedding ring together) turns into a scary one. I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve been holding. I know exactly about the holding of memories. Congratulations on letting it go, both symbolically and internally. Wonderful post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a sad memory, so sorry you had to go through all this. But you know what, for sure it made you a stronger girl. Move on honey, you deserve a better life. Congrats on throwing the old one behind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s quite a sad one Amira. Buying a wedding ring should be such a special time. It was but not the way I imagined it!
      Moving on and letting it go is fabulous! I never thought I could do it. But here I am. Thanks so much for your concern and words of friendship.

      Like

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