A little thing – that will be nothing for others, or close to nothing – can make me shiver. And then I dive into a space where I can only see my flaws.
I feel like a child, looking at the world for the first time and thinking it’s a magical place. No harm around. I feel safe. And then it happens. And like a child, I feel overwhelmed. My emotions are raw, deep. I feel squeezed between so many feelings.
Like a slap on my face, my balance is at stake. If only there could be somebody to hold me so I won’t be falling. But I crash and I soon feel empty. Like I only deserve what I got. Like I got punished for believing in something that don’t exist.
The world is not always that place where you can be and feel free. Freedom is a beautiful world. But it comes with a price. If you are not aware that you have to pay it, you find yourself lost half-way.
I can’t change the world. I just have to learn to take my place in it. Not that easy. Cause I have a hard time seeing it as it is.