Where I stand my ground

Credit@Pixabay

Find your truth inside

Making choices is kind of hard to me. I tend to come and go and change my mind many times a day when I need to take a decision or make a move. I find it even hard to chose between yoghurts at the supermarket, so…

I always wait – too long – for people’s approval. It may never come. Still it reassures me at times. But it keeps me dependant of what others are thinking, which come with their perception of a specific situation. That may not be mine at all.

There is one subject, thought, where I do stand my ground, despite what everybody else think and would rather do – if they’re me – they’re not, thank God!

This is about my son’s dad. For me it’s no relationship except what was stated in the divorce papers. I don’t care that he is his father – I think this is complete bullshit by the way, I mean a father is a man who cares about his child, and not about himself only.
Anyway. I am not tender with him. I will never be. I will never trust him anymore. Maybe it sounds harsh but I know him. And I know he is no good for his son. Never will be, except maybe if he realize one day (I doubt it!) the mess he’d done and take responsability for it.
I gave enough of my joy, faith, love, enough of my time, money, spirit for this guy.

I remember being angry in the past towards people who could not understand and kept telling me to be more gentle and accept that people may change.
But who can really understand this feeling of opression and being manipulated with each word said or written?
I am the one with the experience, the one with the remains of the past, the one who struggled and rebuilt my life day after day. I am the one with the knowledge of what I can give and what can’t be given – a second chance.

So I let people have their ideas on the subject. Mine is not to be challenged!

12 thoughts on “Where I stand my ground

  1. Yes, stay strong on this always. You KNOW what is best for your son and YOU.
    Reading this really brought to mind a film I saw several years ago. It’s a British film called “Dear Frankie”. You remind very much of the strong and incredibly loving single mom who was building a life for her son away from his father as well. As the story unfolds the mom faces pressure to let little Frankie’s father see her and her son. … I won’t tell the rest in case you have a chance to watch this gem of a film. I believe you would find comfort in it.

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  2. If your intuition tells you this, then it’s probably the right thing and can’t be challenged. There are reasons why we feel a certain way about certain people. Other than that, I do think that some people can change entirely – I did so myself, in a way I never thought was possible. Either way, I hope you and your son will be fine 🙂 It’s probably not easy but you will be fine.

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    1. I agree some people can change.
      Not everybody.
      When you keep accusing others of your own weaknesses, it’s hard to do so.
      But I don’t care, it’s his choice.
      You’re right mine is to create limits so our lives can be as serene as possible.
      Thank your for your words

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