She comes from above. I can see her. She has a name. She is smiling, telling me I am safe. She didn’t lose any battle. She survived them all.
I can feel her, close to me. She is caressing my face, drained by tears. She’s talking to me, with gentle words “don’t worry, I am there, you’re not alone.”
She is calling me by my name. She is showing me the way – out of this place of despair. She is telling me not to go home tonight, to call a friend, to let go.
She is so far away and so alive in this moment. She is like a friend by my side, supporting my pain, shooting inside my veins the energy I need to face fear without being afraid. As I stay under the rain, soaked from head to toe, feeling like a shadow, I feel the warmth of her smile, the raw kindness of her soul enveloping me, southing my shaking body.
She is an angel. She is a like the rising sun. She is empowering me.
Him. And all the messy memories.
I saved my life.
She prepared the way and put loving marks on the road so I won’t feel lost.
She left and came back.
Every time I cried in the starless nights. Every time I felt I could not make another step. Every minute I would rather die than face the emptiness, the heaviness of my belly, full of life.
She never let go of my hand.
I told you she is an angel. The one with her name on her grave. She did not die. She is rising above the clouds, above the storm, above the hurricane that shatter so many lives.
She showed me her beautiful heart, her unique value. She transformed pain into thousands of yellow lights. She painted my sky in blue. She told me “I love you”. And I believed her.
She took me out of darkness, out of the fucking nightmare I was living in. One night, I called and she cut the chains, she opened the doors so I could escape my prison. She set me free.
When I pray, I spell out loud her name. Beautiful K.A.Y
I am sending you love across oceans and seas, across continents till the endless heaven where you are saving lives every single day.
And Kim, Thank You for Your Love & Light