Strange Time – Special Time

This is a strange time. I was not prepared to it. To be true at first I was afraid  at the thought of staying home alone with my son. You may know, cause you are reading me for some time now, that motherhood is not that intuitive to me. It’s a challenging experience, a process, a road I took seven years ago not knowing at all what it was about.

This is a strange time, full of emotions going everywhere, taking all the place. There is joy and fear, love and doubts, wonderful suprises, chaotic moments, cries, laughs, so many ups, so many downs too.

It’s not really about being at home, nor about being separated from others, it’s really about finding our peace, our truth inside, it’s about listening to our inner voice, knowing what make sense, to us, it’s about learning who we are, expressing our needs. It’s an introspection, a time out of time, time to grow –  we grow when we struggle! It’s part of the deal too!

And you, how are you living it? Is it tough? Or quite easy? How would you define it? 

Finding our balance!

It’s been a while…
Like most of you I imagine, we’re home
We’re getting organised
We’re looking for our balance
Searching it every day
Finding bliss in silly little things
In moments of communion with neighbours we only see when we open our windows

It’s been a while
But we’ll be back more often

As a matter of fact my friend Salma in Canada got a new idea, a way of connecting.
So here we go…

And you what’re you up to?

Your story

@MK

Rewriting the story

Of an unknown love
As sacred as gold

Together since…
And yet I thougt
I could give you away

Precious gift
So tiny
Inside my belly

My steps
Frozen
My heart
Broken

A story
Of guilt
And love

Rewriting the story

So you can understand
Where you come from

Mister Pop!

Your smile
Like millions of stars brushing the sky
Our special bond
Between silver, teal and gold

Days without
With pain and anger

And days spent looking at the light blue sky
Talking to angels
Reading stories that never end

Rejoicing in saying “thank you”
Even for the unknown

Only one truth
Your birth and mine
Same heartbeat
Inside

Writing prompt #2

You came and you lifted the veil.

From one generation to the other, we were girls. We carried the burdens of the past. We could feel strings taking us back, when we tried to move on and build our life.

We were like flowers ready to bloom and wiped out by a wind of memories.  The story would keep repeating itself. A story of thorns and bloody drama.

Till you came.

A little boy in a precious basket. Like a messanger from above. Like you were send by angels to peace my heart and give me reasons to hope. The link of pain was severed.

When I look at you, I picture us in a garden full of beautiful roses, blue sky and fairy tales, trees bending to welcome us. Hand in hand we are strong to face the world.

This is my entry to the Writing Prompt by Mona.

Motherhood sad song

Copyright Marie Kléber

I dreamt of a life which could never be ours
Just so I could keep going

With you by my side
So many mixed feelings

When we are together
My weaknesses taking all the place

We are creating something out of love
It should be beautiful
It’s messy most of the time

I wish I could be the mum I dreamt of
For you
But I am just a pale copy of it
Full of insecurities
Cracks

With my hypersensitivity taking over
I feel out of place

Even my love seems weak
When I can’t make your feel better
When I let all my anger out for nothing
When I lose track of you

Innocent
In need of me

So beautiful
In your own way

How could I take good care of you
When I forget to look after myself so often

I wonder…

Why so many people want kids they can’t have
And me
Having you
Screwing it up most of the time…

But still I am fighting back
Still believing in something greater
Still thinking that maybe you’ll be able to sort out things
What’s good for you and what you can let go

Some people will add…
Still doing my best – I can go without it
Or if this is my best, it’s quite sad

Just the two of us

Copyright Marie Kléber

Kids love full houses. Voices. And people. And playing. Laughing. Games and big tables. Snacks and treats.

Maybe it’s the hardest part. The one that says, on a daily basis, it’s just the two of us.

Just him and me.

And seeing him missing something. The people. The voices. The fun. The funny part of life. Missing his friends as soon as we are back home. Missing his grand-parents as soon as they are back home.

When I feel down, I feel guilty.

But some days are good. Some days are even great fun. Just the two of us.

But I know he is in need of something more. So we go out. And spend days with family. And we meet people. And I try not to feel blue too often, or at least leave the blues for later. When he is in bed. And I remember the chance we have to be where we are.

We can never be sure to do it right.

We just try our best.

Isn’t it what we all do?

Your steps

Copyright Marie Kléber

Watching your steps
On the funny road of life

You

Trying to find your balance
On the path taking you to unknown places
Looking for new discoveries
Over and over again

Me

Giving you the chance to experience new things
How hard when I remember fears
How they impacted me
How I would never want any of those for you
To deal with
But trully knowing that the path is yours

I am merely a guide
As you step into this world, careless and free