Domestic Abuse: from Fear to Confidence @WMB

When you leave an abusive relationship, you are driven by fear. At some point you know that if you stay, you’ll die, one way or another. And if you have kids, that they are at great risk too. You may not be able to say that it’s the right choice, because your thoughts are not clear, your mind is dealing with many contradictions; guilt and shame are your best friends for years.

You’ll find on your way back to life, many voices that will make you doubt your decisions to get out of a domestic abuse situation. It will be friends and professionnals. And it will be tough to listen to those people, who seem to know better than you what you went though and what you ought to do to start again. You will listen at first and you will feel less and less powerful, more and more under stress, pressure. All your energy seems gone to a land where you can’t catch it again.

Obviously, the person committing abbuse will do everything to win your back; your kids will be used for bartering —so easy! Many people think that it’s just about leaving domestic abuse, when in fact it’s so much more. It’s about finding yourself again, in a battle that looks like it will never ever end. And, also, it’s about keeping your kids safe and well.

Kids are the priority
Often people tell you—now that you’re out and ready to start a new life away from your abuser—that you have to take care of yourself. On paper, this looks great for sure, but in reality, if you have kids, you will want to protect them first. How can you think about yourself, when for years you have been nothing, and when you have been told you were good for nothing. First things first. Getting out of domestic abuse will cost you: 1. insomnia, 2. a great deal of money to find the best lawyer, 3. countless thoughts about whether you should give him/her another chance…again.

Read the full post HERE

The same road

Credit Photo @mariekleber37

I told her
Cause I know
She can understand
She knows it too
This solitude
When we are home alone
When the kids are off
And we stand there
Facing the silence
When the kids are in
And we challenge ourselves
To make the best of days

She knows it
And she can hear it
Without wishing to fix it

I told her
Cause I know
With her, I can let go
Of all the walls I am building
So I can stand still
In front of emptiness
So I can give him
A smile and love
Even when I am feeling low

Wherever others wander
We are on the same road

Parental Burnout @WMB

“I can’t do it anymore!”
I said it. It was not easy but I needed to let emotions go and tell the truth. I didn’t know it but I had hit parental burnout. It did not come out of nowhere but I had kept the situation at a distance for some time. I did not want to show my weaknesses. I did not want people to see this side of me.

For months and months I kept repeating to myself that I could manage, that some other women had more than one kid, some had more issues, illness, parents to deal with and they could make it work at the end of the day. Therefore, I could too.

The breaking point
Then, one day, I found myself locked in the bathroom, crying. Tears were heavy and on the other side of the door was my kid but I could not come out; I could not find the strength to make a step towards him; I could not get past my anger and pain—like I had many times in the past—and give him a hug.

I was not myself anymore. In addition, after every crisis, I hated myself. I was afraid of my violence, of the words, of what my own body and mind were able to do towards the most precious person of my life. I even asked myself at some stage if I really loved my son and if it would not be better to let him go live with other people. Home wasn’t safe. Family life felt like hell.

Read more HERE

Writing Prompt#1

Emerging from darkness, she is standing in front of the sun. Her heart, her guide. Always, she knows where to go when tides are high. Retiring inside.

Love is as pure as nature. Blooming in spring. And retiring when winter’s dreams are on the way. A time to be and a time to reflect.

She would never betray what she believes in. She is a queen, a women in armor, an authentic version. She stand still as the world is moving to fast speed.

Love is. She can never be defeated.

This is my entry to the Writing Prompt by Manic Sylph.

Men & Women friendship

He was my friend
Before I submit myself to a will
I couldn’t understand

Cultural ideas
Men and women don’t mix
They ought to go separate ways

To your husband
You must obey
His will become yours
Or you go ashtray

So he was my friend
And one day
I felt scared to even write
Him an email

I remained silent
No words to explain
A choice I wouldn’t
Challenge again

Being his friend
Was a crime
Cultural ideas
Made it bad

Talking in the street with someone
Showing the way
Or even smile
Forget to even be nice

Men and women don’t mix
Or you’ll have to suffer my wrath

Your husband
You don’t betray
Or you’re a slut
To my dismay

He was my friend
Then he was gone
I could only feel guilty
For not standing my grounds

We were only friends
No threat to his life
I let childhood sleep
Behind the car glass

Men and women don’t mix
Cultural beliefs
If you trigger the deal
Don’t cry
You deserve it

Your husband
Has every right

You broke the promise
Men and women don’t mix
Don’t even tell me otherwise

Or I will make you pay
The price