Truth uncovered

He used to see him as a superhero. He used to see him this way, to get reassured maybe. At least, he had a dad. Not somebody he could call at night when ghosts came, or with whom he could play endless games.

His dad was just a photography, something he could look at when times were tough, when his only wish was to meet him. When my only one was to protect him. I doubted it but never changed my mind.

Now, he knows. It’s better and yet the superhero died, once and for all. His dad is just somebody he has to visit once a month for an hour and a half. He knows now that he was never like the other dads, that his mind played a movie so he could feel safe, so he could feel he was part of the big family plan. And not so alone.

It’s tough seeing him uncovering the truth. And yet it had to be done. His dad has to fall off his pedestal. He has to become man again.

It’s better than keeping the dream alive.

Blueprint

We knew, in a way
What we wanted
What we wished for

In a way, with nothing coming
To keep us away
For too long

We didn’t know
And it came
Like an unwanted surprise

We didn’t know
What was coming our way
Keeping us apart

Not too long
But enough
To make us wander

Enough time
For emptiness to grow
Our voices lost in day to day routine

Where do we stand between
Family gatherings
Our own familiar dreams

Where do we belong
In this new blueprint?

Before the last call of breath

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The end
They told her
Nothing else to be done
The heart is slowly losing the battle
Nastiness can’t compete with death

Day one
A shock
Day two
Reality in motion
Day three
Time to get ready

In a way
A relief
But yet so much left undone
So many words that seal the deal
Of a love that never really existed

Two lives
Too many lies
Two stories
No boundaries

The end
For a new beginning
Without any chance
For forgiveness
A page about to be turned
In darkness always

Day after day
Not knowing when
Trying to get ready to face
The last call of breath

In a way
Peace
Brought by death
Motherhood grace
Never to be conquered

The end
They told her
She’ll not make it to next year
Maybe it’s a chance
After all the mess

Thoughts on…

We may think we are free. Till we realize we are enchained. By limited thoughts and the choices made.

We are the ones who can change the deal. Every single moment. But are we ready for it? Ready to face the unknown and maybe the disillusion in the eyes of the ones we love?

Is there love when we are trying to make everything fit in a life that can’t hold it? When we are hiding ourselves behind the veil of doubt?

What are we ready to lose? What are we ready to give in?

Where is the truth between the thin line of two lives we are knitting together so we don’t have to choose, only to hope it would last ?

Is love enough to hold us tight?

Strange Time – Special Time

This is a strange time. I was not prepared to it. To be true at first I was afraid  at the thought of staying home alone with my son. You may know, cause you are reading me for some time now, that motherhood is not that intuitive to me. It’s a challenging experience, a process, a road I took seven years ago not knowing at all what it was about.

This is a strange time, full of emotions going everywhere, taking all the place. There is joy and fear, love and doubts, wonderful suprises, chaotic moments, cries, laughs, so many ups, so many downs too.

It’s not really about being at home, nor about being separated from others, it’s really about finding our peace, our truth inside, it’s about listening to our inner voice, knowing what make sense, to us, it’s about learning who we are, expressing our needs. It’s an introspection, a time out of time, time to grow –  we grow when we struggle! It’s part of the deal too!

And you, how are you living it? Is it tough? Or quite easy? How would you define it? 

Womb awakening

We are part of the same network
Blood linking us together
Your pain is not mine
And yet…
It’s written in my DNA

We’re familly
This special bond
Many pains brought together
And never we thought
It could be different

It’s time
To walk alone
No guilt in letting go
Of a story untold

No guilt in leaving
Someone ought to break
The invisible link
Of hardships

We can’t carry on
Letting the past decide
Of our future

It’s time
For each one of us
To make the choice
Of better tomorrows

May we bring forgivness
Inside
Whathever we may feel
Whathever our scars

We are the only ones
With the power
To heal each other’s wounds

By choosing ourselves
Our own growth
Our own pace

The freedom to be
Our own savior
Our best mate

Finding outside the lineage
Our own truth
Our voice
Hidden behind the veil of distress