Grand-father blessing(s)

Days come and go. You are somewhere and everywhere. Never too far away.

What days look like when you are not part of the world anymore, when you wander in galaxies, sky and stars, no limit?

What do you do for hours when there is no more agenda, no night and light, when wholeness and emptiness mean the same?

There were happy days – childhood memories. And then something happened. You left. You died and we knew it. We knew it would happen. We knew it was just a matter of months. We knew and we closed our eyes. Cause you were special. Maybe we thought you couldn’t die. We were not ready for it. I was not ready for it. We’re never ready to welcome death.

Some people say that love ends. I might be crazy but I know somehow this is a lie. Maybe it serves people who don’t want to see the light shining through the clouds.

We loved each other before we met. And love is still playing in the background. You know everything. I can confess you all my deepest joys and pains, my shortcuts and my dreams.

You are somewhere. Not a body but a soul. And nobody can ever catch you again. You’re free.

Key Holder

As leaves are turning brown
I let my mind find peace
In the knowledge that
All is within me
To explore
And express

Nobody can mess up
With my happiness

One question only

We can all do great things

Share great words

Find great ways to express ourselves

The only question is…

Are we ready for the ride?

What has to be said

It’s hard to say

And yet it has to be said

How?

I don’t know

But I will have to let the words flow

And see

Where they take me…

If only you…

You got the answers
All within you
All inside the dream you believe
Can’t come true

If only you…

Motherhood sad song

I dreamt of a life which could never be ours
Just so I could keep going

With you by my side
So many mixed feelings

When we are together
My weaknesses taking all the place

We are creating something out of love
It should be beautiful
It’s messy most of the time

I wish I could be the mum I dreamt of
For you
But I am just a pale copy of it
Full of insecurities
Cracks

With my hypersensitivity taking over
I feel out of place

Even my love seems weak
When I can’t make your feel better
When I let all my anger out for nothing
When I lose track of you

Innocent
In need of me

So beautiful
In your own way

How could I take good care of you
When I forget to look after myself so often

I wonder…

Why so many people want kids they can’t have
And me
Having you
Screwing it up most of the time…

But still I am fighting back
Still believing in something greater
Still thinking that maybe you’ll be able to sort out things
What’s good for you and what you can let go

Some people will add…
Still doing my best – I can go without it
Or if this is my best, it’s quite sad

Knowing who we are

Each experience in life gives us a chance to know who we are. We are learning every day. We may fall. It happens to me many times. And I feel like all the steps before mean nothing. I am like this. Falling hard. And then standing up again. Darkness put aside. No more clouds around. Ready to enjoy every minute of every day. There is no time, then, to ponder on things I can’t change.

The world today does not want to hear that you don’t feel right, at one given time. It says to you that you have nothing to complain about, as long as you have a roof, money and health. So if you do so, be ready to face their wrath.

And if you don’t feel right today, what will become of you tomorrow? You ought to be grateful and let go. That’s simple, isn’t it?

But in truth, far from reality. Cause we are humans. We have emotions. We have to deal with people, our past, our fears, our personality, our dreams and our personal history. We have to compose with all these pieces of our lives every day. Feeling blue once doen’t mean we are on the verge of depression. It does not mean we are lost forever.

It just means that we are ready to face whatever feelings are coming our way. Not saying all is right when it’s not. Not burying our problems. But finding solutions. Before moving on.

The world has its own opinion. Of what is right or wrong.

We know there is no right nor wrong. That makes all the difference!

Unadorned and loved

You leave me
Breathless
So many times

Just you
The way you are
The way you are with me
The way you include me into your life

I feel like
A child
Catching the wonders of life
Coming with nothing
But everything to discover

In awe when you put your arms
Around my messy flaws
When you set your eyes
On my secret yearnings

You turned my world upside down
And up again
Showing me the way
To love without the turmoil
Of dependance
Without the craziness
Of becoming somebody else
To fit in a world
Shaped by others

You sccatter pieces of beauty
On the path
Where flowers are growing
Between the weeds of a past
I am learning to let go
To empty my mind
Of the pain caused by
Never being enough for someone

Step by step
You welcome me
In a space free
Where I can be
Me
Unadorned
And still loved