I wish I could
Break at dawn
Inside your space
Wrap myself
Around your breath
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A wish
Tag: Love
Being ourselves
There was something before him. I wrote everything. I remember half of it. His love – today – does even change the past. Not what happened. But how I relate to it.
It’s less and less painful. I am moving to a place where I know myself better. Where I understand what happened better too.
Fear, it was.
Fear of not being accepted. Not being loved. I mean not being loveable. Or enough. Yes, this is it. These people who drag you down, they see themselves before seeing you. They think they are close to perfection. And you, not. You are millions steps away from it. And their job is to make you better. You should even feel blessed to have crossed their path. This is just bullshit.
They’re fake.
So we were fake together. We didn’t work. We were not happy. Obviously. We got together for the wrong reasons. I was looking for recognition. I wanted to be useful. I wanted to count. And I got nothing but poor attention. I couldn’t count cause I wouldn’t match the perfect image of the perfect wife in a perfect mariage.
That’s it. Part of life experiences. I got lucky to escape and start again. It’s like winning the World Cup – I guess. Being able to stop the mess and start on a new track. Better road. Better people. No contest. Just be. Just love. Just live.
Just the two of us
Kids love full houses. Voices. And people. And playing. Laughing. Games and big tables. Snacks and treats.
Maybe it’s the hardest part. The one that says, on a daily basis, it’s just the two of us.
Just him and me.
And seeing him missing something. The people. The voices. The fun. The funny part of life. Missing his friends as soon as we are back home. Missing his grand-parents as soon as they are back home.
When I feel down, I feel guilty.
But some days are good. Some days are even great fun. Just the two of us.
But I know he is in need of something more. So we go out. And spend days with family. And we meet people. And I try not to feel blue too often, or at least leave the blues for later. When he is in bed. And I remember the chance we have to be where we are.
We can never be sure to do it right.
We just try our best.
Isn’t it what we all do?
A place of freedom
I knew somehow that it was within me
This freedom
This wish to experience
And enjoy life to the fullest
I took a road
Not the wrong one
Just one that took me so far away from myself
Far from joy
Far from life
I got a taste of what it is to become
Someone else
To behave like a robot
Learning what to do and how to do it well
I got to taste living in a place
Where emotions were
to be buried inside
Where some subjects were
Dangerous to talk about
Where a word could be a weapon
I knew somehow that one day I would breath again
I would smile and laugh and experience
I would have fears that I could conquer
I would know love
And what it means to feel free to show my feelings
To talk about my dreams
To express who I am
In so many different ways
Breath whispers
You carry my breath
When you hold me
Tight into your own breath
I slip into bliss
Like a whisper in the
Morning blush
Loving you
There is no craziness in loving you.
Just the knowledge that it is true. The way I feel and the way I deal with life. The growing confidence.
I believe there is nothing to understand. Just to be and appreciate the chance we have to walk side by side on the road of our lives.
We will never know where it takes us. It can be scary at times. And yet I choose to focus on the good and forget the rest.
I can tell that I knew deep down that this day would come. I spent years searching for myself in the ruins of my past, so that when you will step inside my space, I coud be free to let you come and surprise me.
And if I have doubts or fears some days, I look within as I know it’s there that all the answers are.
Loving you is like a crazy firework enchanting my every day life!
Where we belong…
There will come a time
When
Whatever the road you chose
You will know
You are
Where you ought to be
Leaves dancing in the trees
Will remind you
Of a long-time dream buried
In the shadows
Of childhood memories
The opalescent stars
Carrying the names of lost ones
Will guide your steps
From a place of fear
To a place of love
You will know
There is nothing to lose
In this life
As nothing belongs to you
You can only be
And when you are
In this state of being
You are carrying the world
In a seashell made
Of gold and grace
Magical heart
Never forget the dream
One day memory
Of a love without boundaries
Free
Secure
And wild
A love that you could only feel
With your whole heart
Open to magic
Yesterday, now and tomorrow
I can tell you everything
The good, the bad, the worst
The blue, the grey, the white
The bright mornings and the dark skies
I can tell you my ups, my downs
My doubts, my fears, my joys
I can tell you all there is
And all there was
Dreams and nightmares
I can cry and you won’t say
These ugly words that I despise
I can tell you everything
And yet I don’t wish to tell you everything
Not that you can’t hear it
Just that I want to protect us from
A life that does not belong to now
Remains of scars, shots of pain
We belong to today and tomorrow
We are writing a far better story
Than the ones before
One that is true, loving, peaceful
One that put a smile on our faces
When we look at each other
I don’t want the chaos anymore
I don’t want to feel trapped in emotions
I don’t want us to be all about this
The memories to unfold
The fears to go over
The wounds to mend
I want life and happiness
Blessings to count every day
Joy and projects to share
I don’t want anything messy between you and me
So know if I don’t tell you everything
It is just my way to say that you mean the world to me
My wishes for you
Wishes are flying all over the place
Here and there
Wishes of peace, light, love and wellness
I wish you this and more
I wish you a creative year
A year of words, sunny views on the fields of your dreams
A year of being you
You with your scars and your downs
Your moments of grace
A year of being fully present to the moment
Ready to embrace the new
To let go of all the things that don’t serve you anymore
A year of love
Loving you
And saying “I love you”
Knowing deep down that you are beautiful
Love and loving
And loveable if you still doubt it
I wish you a wonderful year!
Stay blessed my friends and thank you for being part of this wonderful journey.
