Writing Prompt #12

Engraved in my cells
This night
Like any other

In a whisper
I was gone
Like a ghost
I hurtled down the stairs

It was over
Shots of pain
Across my heart

I was never yours
You just thought
You could stole
Parts of my soul

In the street that night
The pieces of my life
Scattered everywhere

The chance to put them back together
And find myself again!

***

I know that nothing can change nor erase the violence of that special night. It’s there forever. It’s part of me as good memories are too. It was for so long a night I would recall with fear. The words, the scene, the threats.

It was tough and yet, thank God, it was, or I would have never left. I would have came back, despite the mess, despite the nonsense, despite me becoming a stranger to myself. And it would have been tragic!

This night gave me the chance to start anew. Sometimes the best is hidden in the most dangerous places.

This is my piece of poetry as part of Writing Prompt proposed by Mona.

Happiness Maker

Crédit Pixabay

You come from a different space
Your eyes can see inside of me

No need to hide
No way to escape
Both beauty and darkness
Of my soul

You meet me at the crossroad
Where I stand
As I am – unbalanced
Most of the time

Every day
You are giving me the chance
To grow
And the freedom
To express myself
In so many different ways

You breath life
Into my world

A new road…

It struck me recently. This life, building undergrounds, searching to get out and breath. And yet building more, as if walking without something between me and the sky, between me and the bright light, was too fearful.

So I kept finding ways to escape. I kept running out of energy in search of something I would not even dare to catch.

It sounds a bit crazy. And yet it makes complete sense when I think about it, when I take a glimpse at what I grew up with…

The idea that life and struggle come together. So if I am at peace, I may die. And I don’t want to die. So I stay in darkness, I stay in this place where I need to fight and fight back to stay alive. Every battle is a blessing, a chance given to me to live. One more day.

I don’t want to build any more tunnels, I wish to walk a new road…

Step by step

Copyright Marie Kléber

(It was like this before
I would stay behind
I would not ask
I would keep my voice down
I would say “I understand”
And not getting anything of what was said

Just so I won’t feel vulnerable

It was like this before
People laughing
Kids playing
Teachers pointing at me
Bad marks
Unhappy feelings

It was like this before
Fitting in
Staying unseen
Playing it by the rules
Ackowledging mistakes I didn’t make

Every step is a change
In a new direction
Allowing myself to be
Vulnerable
And yet
Strong

Every day I release old scars
Moving on to brighter days
Where being myself
Is not seen as a failure
Anymore

Months of understanding

It took me months to realize that the past was the past, and the past has nothing to do with the present anymore.

It took me months to acknowledge happiness.

It took me months to stop fearing the silence of others.

It took me months to be at ease with saying “no” to something I did not want to do, without feeling guilty.

It took me months to feel free in my own body, unafraid of nakedness.

It took me months to embrace the new, challenge my beliefs.

It took me months to overcome the darkest hours where I thought a word said, unsaid could change the face of my world

It took me months to realize that whatever I lived before, that had nothing to do with love.

Blue drops of hope

20180609_192213-1-1
Copyright Marie Kléber

At times of chaos

I disappear, fall into pieces

The world looks like a haunted place

I reach the depths of long-term pain

Till I can’t take it

Suffering is not my choice anymore

I let tears flow

Spilling ink on paper and screen

Blue drops of hope

Revealing the truth of my being