Guilt, boxes and messy days


I get caught in guilt many times a week.

I hate guilt.

Should I always act like people want me to do?

Should I agree, even when I disagree?

Should I just smile and say thank you, when I just want to say “please stop taking care of my laundry?”

I feel guilty because their intention is good.

I feel guilty because they both do their best to “ease” my life.

But I don’t want it their ways. I want it mine. I want to make my choices. If I don’t want to iron, I want to be free not to do so. I don’t want to feel under pressure to fit in boxes that don’t belong to me.

I hate boxes.

Every time I state loud and clear that this is the way I deal with things, I want people to respect it.

Do I have an issue with respect myself?

At least every time we go to visit, I respect the rules. I iron our shirts, I let them say whether this is allowed or not in their home.

Is it right?

Do I respect myself when I do so? Do I respect my child?

I feel guilty and lost once again.

I thought I was done with this. I thought this place of guilt belong to the past.

What’s wrong with me?

When will I free myself from the approval of others?

What a Word can create…

I had planned something lighter for today but I am used to write with the first feeling and my feeling today is please stop spreading words that kill.
I explain myself. I read an article on a blog last week and I was quite shocked by the words the author used. Maybe the intention was correct but the impact it had on me was “how can we treat people whose ideas or beliefs differ from us this way“. 
We all have our ideas and we all have the freedom to express them. We agree or we don’t. That the way it is. But we should always remember words have impact, words spread love but also hate, words can turn somebody’s world upside down, words have power. And if we look at the world major conflicts we can see it.

We are all born in different parts of the world but we all one, all  created by the same hand, the hand of God, whatever name you have been raised to call him. It is not because some say Yahweh or Allah or God that this makes a difference.

Do you know what one word can change, what one word can create? We see enough hate around the world, crimes and wars in a name of a God who only ask us to love him. 
It is very easy to put hate in someone’s mind. Many do it very well. 

What do you think happen when all your life you heard X had taken your land, your life, X is a liar, Y is a bad person and deserves this or that………………….when somebody will tell you “now it’s time to clean the place”, you will go in the streets and you will kill your neighbor, you might even kill people from your own family if their point of view differs from yours, because you think it’s good and you won’t have any regrets. You will feel like a hero even with blood on your hands. 

This is what a word can create

Right and wrong, good and bad are merely concepts. We all agree some acts are immoral, dangerous and disrespectful. But from place to another, from one situation to another, these concepts will have a different meaning.

Stop trying to show you are better than others. Nobody is better. Everybody tries. 
The most amazing people have walked the earth, with humility. They have not walked at the top of the mountain to say “I am the best, follow me”. They have walked the earth spreading love, showing others the way.

On a religious point of view, as the article on the blog was about this, in less than 6 weeks it is Christmas. For some of people, Christmas is not a celebration, and that’s fine. 

But please respect others confessions. Please stop saying that because we don’t practice your religion we are “enemies of God”. I don’t feel because my heart is in balance between two religions I am an enemy to God. I don’t think God sent this message on earth or ask us to judge the way others practice.
Maybe some have forgotten they were born in a part of the world when you bent down in Mosques to give thanks. Others kneel in churches and celebrate the birth of Jesus. That doesn’t make any of them bad people, they just have been raised this way. There are many paths that take us to God.

Please respect their beliefs and traditions. As they would respect your beliefs and traditions. I will always remember something Jesus (PBUH) said:”Love your neighbor as yourself”. He did not say: “Love your neighbor only if he is christian and white or only if he goes to church or help others”. 

Please remember some are doing an amazing and beautiful job talking about religion in peace, some are writing, doing their best, praying for spreading love. 
We remember seeing Christians families hiding and saving Jews children during the Second World War, Muslim families rescuing Christians ones during the Genocide in Rwanda, Jews and Muslims playing together, the 3 religions praying at the same place at the sane time in Jerusalem not so long ago. 

All of them are models to follow. Stop ruining their work. They don’t deserve it. 

I think I will always remember the Imam who married us saying to my husband “Christmas is a special time for your wife, go with her in Church”. And to me “the end of Ramadan is a special time for your husband go with him to the Mosque”. He did not say ” you should not marry her, she is an enemy of God”. 
He told us he did a speech in a Church on Christmas last year. He told us all the members of the different confessions would meet often to talk about the aspects of religion in people’s life and how to help people understand and accept the diversity. 
He really helped me see things differently.

An advice, walk your path the best way you can, look at you in the mirror and start loving who you are, it will help you to love others and stop spreading words that have a terrible impact in today’s world, it is not what the world needs. Mind your tongue and ask God for guidance.
Answer disrespect by respect or hate in the world will never disappear. 

You don’t have to agree with me, I don’t have to agree with you but let’s respect each others choices and ideas. As long as these choices and ideas don’t corrupt the world, we are safe.

Let’s remember we are human beings.
Let’s remember God loves us.
Let’s remember LOVE is all there is for a world to find its way back to God. 

Respect starts with little things!

Respect is an important word and idea, but it starts with little things really. If respect is not applied at home, in your workplace or with people you meet everyday, how can we expect respect to be for larger issues and at a world level.

It popped up into my mind yesterday evening on my way back home.

These are just examples. But I am sure you will see behind the lines and be able to take it every day with you. It’s good to think about ourselves but we don’t live on a desert island with nothing, nobody, no life around. We live with people and things, with nature and animals. 

  • I have a course on Tuesday night and usually takes the bus home late, around 10pm. At this stage I am pretty tired and looking forward being home. My head is full of information, not talking about the 8 hours work I have behind me too. On the bus they were some people chatting and listening to the radio. The sound was very loud and the music was something between R’nB and Dance. Definitely not something I was enjoying.
You want to listen to music, that’s ok, at least think about others lives and musical tastes, and drop the volume. It’s very simple.
  • Near home, they are doing some buildings on the road. People work at night in order not to disturb our daily routine, so that everybody can go to work without too much delay the following day. They might have children and wives at home, friends they would like to see or just enjoy a good movie in front of the TV. Instead they work to make our lives a bit better.
You are going home at 11pm and there are delays. Stop honking because the queue does not move. It is not going to move faster – the lights are red! Please think one second some people are sleeping at 11. So remain patient, in this case it’s the only thing you can do.

  • There are bins everywhere in Dublin City Center. Some men woke up at 5am to clean the streets as you still enjoy some sleep and get ready to go to work, so when you do your shopping you are not disturbed.
Their Job is to empty the bins and take the garbage away. It is not to pick up what you have left behind by laziness or worse carelessly. It takes 5 seconds to walk to the next bin. It helps keep your city clean and make the work of these men less exhausting. 
  • At work, we are 8 people. We have a small kitchen and always plates and cups not washed, waiting there. We have a fridge in which you would not like to put anything. We have post coming every single day. And it looks like we are waiting for somebody to do it. We also have a cleaning lady.
Wash your cup takes 2 minutes. 
Wash the toilets when they are dirty takes 2 minutes and seems the normal thing to do. 
Open the post when your colleague is out of the office will help him/her not having 50 letters to open when he/she will be back. 
Empty the bin before things drop out doesn’t kill. 

Same, as above, the cleaning lady is helping you to maintain the place clean, she is not there to clean up your mess. If you don’t wash your stuff at home, fine, at work you are sharing the space, you have to make a little effort. 

At the end it’s small actions that make the difference:

Respect your husband busy day by preparing the diner.
Respect your wife’s day with the children by taking them out for a little while or proposing to give them the bath.
Give your seat in the bus to a person in need.
Smile to a beggar in the street (Even if his lifestyle does not match your ideas, he deserves respect too).
Remain patient in the queue (the lady at the counter does her best).
Try as best as possible to keep your voice low and your anger inside (nobody deserves you to shout at them because your day is not going the way you want it).
Wash your colleagues plates and cups when you get a chance & don’t walk on the wet floor after the cleaning lady just did it!
Wait to be at home to kiss your partner with all the passion and love you have for him/her. If you can’t limit yourself to a quick kiss or hug (Think other people don’t need to watch this and that children are out too, exposed to enough already)

You see where I am going. Let’s start respecting others in our daily life and then we will be able to talk about respect in politics, ideas, religions, and wider issues. 
Have a great day!!

When a World does not know how not to make the same mistakes again and again, this World is lost.

I am outraged and revolted to see the world looking at Syria in the eyes, watching people slaughtered by a government who obviously don’t know anything about Human Rights and doing nothing.

The other day I was watching a  movie that despite the horror of the subject would be one of the best I know, one I would recommend everybody to watch, for the memory of the victims, the memory of men & women who gave their lives to save others, and to remember we could all be responsible of the same horrors if we would have been born is a different society or place – Shooting Dogs is a powerful Movie about the Genocide of Rwanda.

We – I talk about us, countries of the West, countries where politics abuse us every day but where our lifestyle is far better than many people around the world – Societies where maybe Human Rights are not respected but are defended, where money is there but nobody knows how to manage it – Societies who have the power to send military people on threatened lands to protect the population in dangers – We stayed there, watching thousands of people dying, butchered, and we did nothing.

  • In Rwanda in 1994, the Genocide made 800 000 Victims.

  • During the Second World War, 5 millions Jews have been exterminated – 15 000 of Homosexuals, 200 000 of Disabled  and more than 6 millions of people from various religious and cultural backgrounds.

  • In Srebrenica in July 1995 more than 8 000 Muslim Boys and Men were killed.

Not to talk about Iraq, Afghanistan, the never ending war between Israel & Palestine, the climate of terror people are living in in South America, Africa and Asia Pacific facing rape, gangs and manslaughter, the Arab Spring and many more ATROCITIES perpetrated every single day by terrorists and tyrants. 

Today Syria counts already 3 000 dead, maybe more, and we are still looking at blood and torture, hands in our pockets, afraid of doing anything that might compromise the future of our countries.

Tomorrow Syria will be another name on the list of Massacres in the Century and we will forget the faces of the ones who had a dream and gave their lives for peace and respect, till the next time. 

And I continue to pray the World will wake up and face its challenges with courage and love.

Where Minarets of Mosques and Towers of Churches Embrace in Love

During his visit to The Pope Paul VI at the Vatican
08 April 1976
In the name of God the Merciful, the Compassionate.
In the name of the people of Egypt who have always known their way to the Almighty , since the beginning of history and who have remained throughout that time a singular example of tolerance, fraternity and co-existence of creeds and religions, I present to you the kindest greetings and express the deep esteem that we hold for you for the sincere” effort* you exert for peace, Liberty and justice.
I carry to you this greeting from the banks of the Nile where Christ, peace be upon him, immigrated as a child and where his family sought peace and security. There the minarets of mosques and the towers of churches embrace in love.
The challenges of today’s world which is full of conflicts and suffering make it necessary that mankind would hold firm to God’s teachings.
The instructions of Islam taught us that all believers in God are one nation and ordered us to liberate ourselves from hatred and bitterness. We hope that believers in every part of the world will become aware of the great responsibility laid upon them and the serious dangers which surround the march of the entire human race, so they may stand together as one man beside right, justice and goodness.
We cannot preserve our spiritual values and the instructions of the tolerant heavenly religions if we fail to realise what is right and remove injustice or if we fall short in helping the needy and the hungry.
These days we are witnessing a sad scene in the tragedy which the Palestinian people live; these peoples who believe in God and his prophets and who established a great civilisation on their land inspired by the light of Moses, Christ and Mohamed. Now tyrannical power threatens their security, violates their land, endangers their life, usurps their right and profanes their sanctities. Away with the unjust.
Your stands are firm against any violation of human dignity and in rejection of any attack on children, the old or women or any aggression on Jerusalem. Through the high spiritual value you represent and the great esteem in which you are held in the souls of millions of people, you work with your full capacity to establish peace in the area which was the cradle of the heavenly religions,  the land of the Prophets and the birth place of God’s Light on His earth. 
God calls us to the house of Peace and guides whom He wishes to the right path.