This year my word is Be Kind (To myself mostly).
Over the past years I realized that it was important for me to get to know who I am, to love myself (without condition), to create my space, to find some “me” time, so I could deal with motherhood, work, daily life peacefully and with an open heart. This way I could give my full attention to my child whenever we have time together, or my friends, my family. By taking care of myself, I would surely take better care of people around me.
And by falling in love with myself, I would allow love into my life, the kind of true and respectful love I deserve.
I’ve always been the first to tell family and friends “think about you” or “you are important, you need to look after yourself”, “take some time away, it’s good for you and for your kids, your husband….” That’s it; I am good advice when it comes to others. It’s another story when I am concerned.
I have to acknowledge that I have a tough time finding my balance, between my life as a mum, my life at home with my parents, my personal life including meeting friends, creating new relationships, writing and relaxing. I feel like it’s too much for me. In fact, I spent the past three years focusing on my child and my family, without even thinking that I was part of the equation. Don’t get me wrong, I was the first one saying that I needed time for myself, without taking it. I was the first one trying to meet new people, without catching opportunities. I was the first one feeling I needed to make the first step towards time for myself, but taking guilt in my handbag every time I was about to cross the line between motherhood and womanhood!
This year I told myself that I must do something about it. My life can’t change if I just sit down, wait and see. I am in charge of making it work, one way or another. I must change the way I feel / think about taking time for myself. I can’t find the balance if I don’t give myself a chance to test what it’s like to be fully with my child, fully with dear ones and fully with me.
I know that it won’t happen overnight. It’s a step by step project. But I refuse to let life pass and forget me once again. I matter, as much as others do. I don’t say that it’s going to be easy. But I don’t want to feel once again what I felt in February: being exhausted, on the edge, shouting every time something did not go according to plan. I don’t want to spend my life feeling crap and feeling guilty for feeling crap. I need to take action. Where to start? I don’t have a clue.
I am on the way for a better life as a mum and a woman.
Tell me, did you find your balance yet? Did it take time? Any advices / tips to share? Or are you still searching for it?