Divorce matters & Dating life

Yesterday, I did something unusual. I went out for dinner with a guy. Oh I know, this is not something that crazy but after being single for 4 years and haven’t even been kissed, touched, looked at during these 4 years, I can tell you that this was a big step for me.

In fact the man is single with two kids but not yet divorced. And you could see it on this face. He’s devastated. Nice but completely overwhelmed by his new status – seven months is new when you talk about divorce. He has two kids, younger than mine. I let you imagine the earthquake this could be!

He tried is best and we had a nice evening. When looking at him, I saw myself 3 years ago, completely stoned and distressed. I realized that I moved on, I am at a different phase now. I am done with my divorce and my ex. I am done with my messy life and my messy thoughts. I feel happy and blessed. But I know it takes time to grieve and let go of all the things we thought would last a lifetime.

It’s a bit rude to say that but I went back home lighter, knowing the worst was behind and that I was now up to the best part of my life. Maybe it even helped me understand that I would like to meet someone, fall in love, that I am ready to open my heart again, after locking it for many years, in case somebody would steal my broken, not yet mended pieces and play with them again.

How? I don’t have a clue. How you meet new people? How you get back to dating life? I don’t have a clue. I am just feeling like it’s something I would like to try. I am just feeling safe and confident enough to give it a go. We’ll see!

Tell me Ladies, when and how did you get back dating after your divorce or a breakup? How did you meet your spouse or boyfriend? Any advice is more than welcome!  

I need “help” and that’s ok @WMB

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As far back as I can remember I always had a clear idea of what a strong woman is and how she should behave. A strong woman would do whatever she could to have all situations under control, would not need help and would not ask for it either, would manage on her own and would succeed alone.

This was before. Before what?

Before I had no other choice than say “I need help”. I need help to go through the day. I need help to wake up, stand up and live. I need help to overcome my fears, doubts. I need help to love my child. I need help to face past memories. I need help to rebuild my life. I need help to forgive. I need help to love myself.

And my idea of what a strong woman is changed.

We often think that asking for help is a proof of our inability to face life and its challenges.

If you ask mums, friends, people around you, I bet that the answer you’ll hear most of the time will be something like this “I don’t want to ask for help. I’m fine. I’ll deal with it like a big girl”.

Why can’t “being a big girl” and “asking for help” go together? Why do we, women, mums, think that if we ask for help, people will consider us failures?

Read HERE

 

Being a woman

I forgot what it meant

Being a woman

I forgot what it’s like

Being looked at

***

He said things

I did not want to hear

Lack of confidence

My body is a mess

Inside

I feel scared

Trusting again

***

He told me

It’s time to let go

To let love knock at the door

Of my heart

***

I am so good at listening to others

At helping them

I am so bad at letting someone take care of me

Telling me how fabulous I am

***

Images are rushing in front of my eyes

Being naked is scaring me

How to be myself when deep down

The scars are still bleeding?

***

I want to scream

How can I forgive myself?

How can I let go of something that is killing me?

How somebody will see behind

My broken femininity?

***

I forgot what it meant

Being a woman

I forgot what it’s like

Being looked at

***

I forgot I was loveable

I forgot I was beautiful

 

Hand in Hand for a New World

Come

Take my hand

Sit down with me

We’re gonna share

Our stories

You’re gonna tell me

How to gain in confidence

I’m gonna tell you

How to feel blessed every day

You’re gonna tell me the secrets you hide

Inside

I’m gonna tell you who I am

Inside

You’re gonna cry – tears of joy

And I’m gonna cry too – tears of gratitude

We’re gonna share

A unique moment of friendship

Just you & me

In a bubble of peace

We’ll be safe to be

Who WE ARE

We’ll celebrate life

As it is

And GOD’s creation

Our bodies

The power within us

That can create amazing things

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Come

Hear my voice

Sit down with me

Under the Tulip Tree

With our freedom and our love

Together

We’ll make a new world!

Finding the balance @ WMB

Over the past few years, I realized that it was important for me to get to know who I am, to love myself (without condition), to create my space, to find some “me” time so I could deal with motherhood, work and daily life, peacefully and with an open heart. This way, I could give my full attention to my child whenever we have time together, or to my friends and family. By taking care of myself, I would surely take better care of the people around me. And by falling in love with myself, I would allow love into my life, the kind of true and respectful love I deserve.you-can_t-pour-into-all-the-areas-of-your-life-if-your-own-cup-is-empty

I’ve always been the first to tell family and friends, “think about you” or “you are important, you need to look after yourself”, “take some time away, it’s good for you and for your kids, your husband….” That’s it: I give good advice when it comes to others. It’s another story when I am concerned.

I have to acknowledge that I have a tough time finding my balance between my life as a mum, my life at home with my parents, my personal life including meeting friends and creating new relationships, writing and relaxing. I feel like it’s too much for me. Read the article HERE @ WMB

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Parenting…

Silent breath

Under the skin

Looking for some peace

In the busy days

Not so cold outside

Too warm inside

Looking for some happiness

Under the white sky

***

Saying NO all day long

Endurance and Patience

Parenting can be tough

Setting limits

Boundaries with a smile

Trying to stay calm

And feeling crap when anger strikes

***

Needing time to unwind

Time alone

Focusing on the good things

On the love shared

Away from tensions

Time for compassion

Towards ourselves

Towards life

Its constant ups and downs

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Warrior Time

I took a deep breath

And I looked back

Not for long

Just a second

She asked me

“Would you change the story?”

Through pain I learnt the value of MY life

But is the pain worth it?

Through pain I learnt to look at myself with kindness and love

But does it make the abuse fine?

“What if life was giving you a second chance?”

Life gave it to me already

I took the road less travelled and it was rough

But they told me that the scenery after the tunnel is beautiful

They were right

“Did you forgive him?”

I am not sure

Not yet

I am still dealing with grief

I am still living with memories

They tend to fade away

At least I forgave myself

It’s the first step

“Do you still love him?”

No

I loved him

Even after he broke the rules

Even after the lies

But love is gone

And this feels much better

Than having to mend a broken heart

Thank having to fills the gaps

“Is it hard seeing him again?”

Yes

Still

His smile in front of others

And his threats behind their back

He can try to destroy me

But he can’t

He didn’t

And I will never let him do so

***

I am

I am a warrior

In a golden armour

I stand up for myself

I am fine

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Times of change

There comes the time when you want the best for your life.

But the best does not fall from the sky.

You can wish for it, but if you don’t do anything to make it happen, it’ll stay a mere dream, a dream that you’ll finally put away, chase from your mind, till you feel desperate again and ready to start being true to yourself.

At some stage, you’ll have to change.

You’ll find around people ready to help. You’ll go online and reach out to therapists or programs that talk to you.

You make it happen.

You don’t wait for it, on a bench, under the rain.

You take action. You take a paper and a pen.

You start an action plan and practical steps.

You plan goals and celebration when you achieve one.

You plan to congratulate yourself each time you are moving forward, each time you feel like the pain is leaving you.

Slowly you take control of your life, of your mind, of your thoughts.

You don’t let others interact with your feelings or your mood.

You change every negative thought with a positive one.

You breathe in the here and now.

You are ready for a new life…

 Ps – I initiated the change into my own life. I have the Map in my hands for a while, but I needed to find the good time to start the work. Here I am. Thanks to Jodi for introducing me to this program that she created. Here is the link to Jodi wonderful website – Jodi Aman and to the Map to Whole Peace. She has a way with words and lots of love and kindness to share. Don’t miss it!

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My life these days – Acceptance and Love

Nore sure why I have been away for so long. Two weeks is long when it comes to blogging, when it comes to me, not blogging.

I just got caught in many other things. I had issues to process and I realized that writing about them here could not change them. So I decided to deal with them on my own, like a big girl!

Mister Pop got sick in the middle of it. It looks like it took him ages to recover. He recovered and is now babbling all day long. He is so funny!

He makes me laugh out loud. People might think I am absolutely crazy. I don’t care. This boy is just perfect (when he does not scream or put any garbage he can find, in his mouth)!

He got to meet his dad 10 days ago. This visit was one part of my issue. Divorce is tough. But not being able to discuss things, talk together is quite difficult too. Silence is all around when it comes to Mister Pop’s dad. I have to do with it. I won’t change him. And anyway he does not want to change at all. So I am backing off…

I am slowly learning to let things be. And concentrate on who I am. I am learning to think about what I like or wish, when taking a decision. I am learning to live in the moment, to not dwell in the past or even try to create many horrible scenarios when it comes to what will happen next.

These days, I am practicing self-love, I am learning to accept and love the life I have. And it feels right, and good.

ps – Many Thanks for your kind words on my last post. It means a lot. I just wanted you to know it.

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 Crédit Image – Pinterest

Inspirational Tea

Any time is a good time for Tea!

Tea became my favorite drink a couple of years ago

Now Tea is a ritual

Fresh and spicy – Fruity and green – White or with milk

I drink black tea with citrus fruit

I drink green tea and jasmine tea

I drink white tea with biscuits

I drink red tea when I feel unbalanced

I drink mint tea and I travel straight to Morocco

I drink chai latte as a special treat!

Tea is refreshing. It gives energy. It brings peace to the soul. And it’s good for the body.

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The brand I fancy a lot is called Yogi Tea.

I like the names – Women’s balance, Bright mood, Heartwarming, Pure, Positive energy…

With each box, comes a yoga posture and with each tea bag, comes a quote.

Each quote is full of wisdom and simplicity. Each word is teaching me something and seems to always come at the right time.

Today, it is “Learn to appreciate yourself”.

I am on my way to practice…

Do you like tea? Do you know Yogi Tea? Or would you advice another brand?

This is not a sponsored post