Autumn through the years

I remember. The first autumn. When you were in my belly, when I used to talk to you about the season, about my wishes for the ones to come.

I was happy in a way. Leaves were turning brown and I was drafting our future, the walks we would do hand in hand, the sound of the rain, the rustle around, the song of the wind, the warmth of a sunday afternoon by the sea.

Knowing you were there gave me the strenght to live through the dark hours ahead. I was not alone anymore and I could tell you about all the beauty, all the wonderful of life. I never doubted it. I never allowed anybody to come between you and me.

Autumn was tender when winter was harsh. I lose my mind many times. And yet I kept talking to you, like a madwoman most of the time. But I cared you know. I cared so much. I wanted the best for you and I took the chance, even if it came with chaos and violence, even if at a time I thought of giving you away. So somebody else could take care of you.

Year after year, autumn comes as a reminder of love shared, of love like the most powerful tool to overcome the worst. I knew I would not have left if it’s not for you. You were the green light on the road, that we took together, hand in hand. Always.

Despite the silence

Awake at night
I wish I could feel
Your breath against
My bare skin

I keep your absence
At a distance
By fear of scars
Messing with the present

I wish I could
Sweep them away
I wish I could
Erase darkness

Just like this
Just with the power
Of my thoughts

But at times
It’s back and with it
Chaos and Tears

I don’t seem to be able
To master them
So I fall with them

I escape the world
I move away from your touch
I let silence do the talking

I am grieving, alone
So you won’t have to take care
Of my broken soul
Once again

Finding our balance!

It’s been a while…
Like most of you I imagine, we’re home
We’re getting organised
We’re looking for our balance
Searching it every day
Finding bliss in silly little things
In moments of communion with neighbours we only see when we open our windows

It’s been a while
But we’ll be back more often

As a matter of fact my friend Salma in Canada got a new idea, a way of connecting.
So here we go…

And you what’re you up to?