The “me” inside

Copyright Marie Kléber

If you could let all your theories at the door

All the things you say are right

All the truths you were told

If you are ready to embrace the unknown

Mystery, emptiness, chaos, incredible joy

If you can let go of the mask that protects you

Appear naked and vulnerable

Without nothing else than your heart

Wide-open and free

Then and only then

You’ll be in touch with the reality

Of the “me” inside  of you.

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A path of love and acceptance

Copyright Marie Kléber

I am learning that her story is not mine
Still learning
It’s not the easiest part
It is a path of love and acceptance
Of what was
And what is
Of her feelings
And her pain

I felt angry at times
When I was younger
Hearing that she’d rather like to die
It is no lie
I thought cancer would change her
Make her feel more aware of the beauty around
And the past would go
Would let her breath in peace
And live without shadows

I prayed
But it’s not my story
I have no power
It’s not about me
All the love I have can’t change the deal

The past is engraved
In every cell of her body

I am learning to love her as she is
With her memories
Her ghosts
Her idea that life is just a messy road

Trying to protect me
When she says she’d rather like death
Knowing that it’s not against me
It’s just the only space
That could set her free

Rejection sucks and that’s fine!

Crédit Marie Kléber

It sucks. And it will always suck.
Rejection does. And it’s fine.

It’s just another blow. One you can handle.
Just like when the wind is messing up with your hair. No damage.
Not much you can do either.

Just say “ok”. And try again.
It will come again and again.
And you’ll go back on the scene again and again.
Knowing that despite rejection, there’s nothing else you’d like to do differently.

Confusion

Copyright Marie Kléber

My hands are cold
But my heart is warm

Some days

I wonder if I give enough
Enough of what I receive
Buckets of love…

I am not the same as the one I used to be

I wonder if I show it enough
In a way that no one would doubt it

It used to be about others, not me

Now that I count, I matter
I wonder if people feel that they count for me too…

My Treasure

I was there and yet…

I don’t know how it happened
How love found its way

It seems so easy between us
So natural

What taste had love before?
I don’t remember
No I do. It was harsh and painful
And full of silences

But I believed. I did not want to let go
I did not want to assume that it’s all that I could get
I knew there was something more to it

That this was a pale copy of what love was in real
I fell and I came back to life
I found my way out of the storm

I dreamt of you and you came
I can only rejoice now, feel blessed every hour of every day

Your love changed me
It changed the mother I am
And the friend, the daughter, the sister in me

It is making me stronger, powerful, confident
Our love is my treasure

Connection

Copyright Marie Kléber

It was there, all day long
The urge to be with you
To press my body against yours
Feel your love and power
Take me away from all I know
To a place of sensual bliss

It’s in your eyes
And in the way you look at me

It’s in your hands
And in the way you touch me

It’s in you desire
And in the way it meets mine

It’s in the connection…

Don’t close your eyes

Copyright Marie Kléber

It’s hard not to. Not to remember this night. Hard to see the number 13 on the screen and feel nothing. It’s hard to forget. Hard to behave like none of this happened.

We can try. Some are good at it. Some are good at closing their eyes. Some don’t want to remember. Cause it’s too tough. Cause it’s too soon maybe. Cause they don’t see why this would make a difference.

I don’t want to close my eyes. I don’t want to forget. Even if it makes me shiver. Even if it’s far from what I believe and pray for. Even if I don’t understand and if I’d rather see love than blood on the day screens.

I can say it does not matter. I was not one of them. I was out of the mess of this terrible night. I’d lie. I was there, crying, feeling the pain of those who died, of those who survived. I was there, knowing our world would never be the same again, letting go of layers of fears, trying to find solace in kid’s innocent smiles.

When darkness threatens the foundations of our lives, we can’t keep going like nothing is real. We ought to walk, confident, holding to hope like a second skin, towards the light.